2021 Anchor Post Template

QUOTE (emphasis mine):

[1]

NOTE (my commentary)

STRATEGY:

DISCERNMENT QUESTIONS
What gets my attention?
Do I understand the need or problem?
Do I understand the potential solution?
Do I understand how to apply that strategy?
What questions do I have for the experts? What might be the answers?
Who needs to hear this?
What do I do next?

SOURCE – Footnotes:
[1] 

Image credit

Please review the page How and Why We Use Quotes.
Key: _code__ Origin: anchor date. Last Revision: date.

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Norwood Recovery x 10 steps copy

LINK: SP.SP.SP
1. Surrender. Go for help.
2. Prioritize recovery: Make your own recovery the first priority in your life.
[Key Point: redirect my energy to meeting my needs. Keep my commitments to do that.]
3. Find a Support group of peers who understand.
4. Develop your spiritual side through daily practice.
STOP: SMaC HoG
5. Stop managing and controlling Kim and others = SMACK
6. Learn to not get “Hooked” into the Games.          = HoG
Energy invested here does not profit and it is not appreciated. Can result in enemy action – Karpmann drama triangle.
The goal was to cause Kim to be happy.  The goal is to now release her to freedom  and her own consequences, detach from “fixing” and instead, manage and control Dave for Dave’s benefit.
I will always be kind, but not volunteer for work. I  will always answer questions.
Slogan: Test for interest; walk through open doors, or detach. Enjoy Dessert.
START: CC.SS.
7. Courageously face your own problems and shortcomings. = confront me, myself.
8. Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself. (Don’t rely on the other.)
9. Become “Selfish.”
10. Share with others what you have experienced and learned.
.
#7. Problems list in Google Keep.
#8. Ramp up … do more interesting things … to her, but especially to me.
#2. TV, avoidance, no sex. How is this me … waiting for what I want … waiting for her attention to _______.
#9. Can I calmly coexist w/denial?  Just relax and enjoy the party of denial? (Enjoy Dessert)
What sort of attention do I want?
Interesting conversation.
Sharing my learning to an interested person.
My work/writing read and discussed.
My (brainy) friend.
Support for mutual goals.
Mutually helpful to each other.
Working together.
My partner.
Affection, attention, love, romance, sex.
Belonging needs.
My lover.
Safety … security … I am not harmed.
(This is a given.)
How can I create a support group for these needs?
——–
.

Tags: a.Norwood, t.PTSD
January 04, 2021 at 10:54AM

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If a miracle happened in today’s session, what miracle would she be hoping for?

I thought of you when I read this quote from “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” by David D. Burns –

“At the start of the session, I listened and provided empathy while Maria described how rough the last couple of months had been for her. Although empathy is rarely ever curative, it is important to create trust and bonding. Then I asked Maria if she wanted some help with her negative thoughts and feelings and if this would be a good time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. She said she did want help and was ready to get started. Next I asked Maria the miracle cure question: If a miracle happened in today’s session, what miracle would she be hoping for? She said she wanted her negative thoughts and feelings to disappear so she could enjoy her baby daughter and her role as a new mother without feeling miserable all the time. I asked her to imagine that we had a magic button and that if she pushed it, all of her negative thoughts and feelings would instantly disappear, with no effort at all, and she’d immediately feel joyous, even euphoric. Would she push the button? Maria said she’d definitely push the button. Almost everyone says that!”

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/3fIXZzz

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Your negative thoughts and feelings are not, in fact, the result of what’s wrong with you … but what’s right with you.

I thought of you when I read this quote from “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” by David D. Burns –

“POSITIVE REFRAMING

What I’ve shown you so far—how to identify the distortions in your negative thoughts—is powerful and exciting, but it’s not new. What is new is this: Your negative thoughts and feelings are not, in fact, the result of what’s wrong with you (as the American Psychiatric Association would have us believe) but what’s right with you. In the DSM-5, various forms of human suffering, such as unhappiness, worrying, or shyness, are transformed into a series of “mental disorders” with names like major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. This classification system creates the impression that if you’re feeling depressed or anxious, you’re defective in some way and need fixing. In fact, your doctor may even tell you that you have a “chemical imbalance” in your brain and that you need medication to try to correct the imbalance.* But what if Maria’s suffering—and your suffering as well—was not the result of what’s wrong with you but what’s right with you? What if your depression and anxiety were the expression of what’s positive and beautiful about you rather than what’s negative and broken about you? Then you could be proud of your negative feelings instead of feeling ashamed of them. That would be quite a switch, wouldn’t it? And here’s the really cool thing: The moment you see the positive side of your negative thoughts and feelings, you suddenly won’t need them anymore, and your recovery will be just a stone’s throw away. In fact, many people recover really fast! How fast? I’m talking minutes, as opposed to months or years of traditional talk therapy or treatment with antidepressant medications.”

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/jiuchXv

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When you CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way you FEEL.

I thought of you when I read this quote from “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” by David D. Burns –

“I’m not arguing that every time you think you’ve failed, you’re fooling yourself. We all have our share of real failures and setbacks. I know for sure that I do. I’ve actually had the opposite experience at times as well—workshops that I thought were fantastic when I got slammed in the evaluations. And that can be pretty painful. What I am saying is that your feelings will result from your thoughts and not from what actually happened. And when you’re feeling depressed and anxious, your thoughts will almost always be negative and distorted. But here’s the good news, which I’m repeating: When you CHANGE the way you THINK, you can CHANGE the way you FEEL. And this can happen really fast.”

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/0rqh1vB

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Your thoughts create your feelings every minute of every day.

I thought of you when I read this quote from “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” by David D. Burns –

“Cognition is just a fancy word for a thought. It’s the way you think about what’s happening. Right now, you’re probably having some thoughts about me and what you’re reading, and possibly some thoughts about yourself as well. Your thoughts create your feelings every minute of every day.” [1]

“Do you see what I mean? Everyone reading this book is reading the exact same words, but how they feel about this book can differ greatly. Your feelings result entirely from how you’re thinking right now. It is your thoughts, and not the circumstances of your life, that create all of your feelings. You FEEL the way you THINK. Sometimes, though, we think about ourselves and our lives in ways that are pretty illogical and even unfair to ourselves. We make interpretations about what’s happening that are twisted and misleading, but we don’t realize it. That is what cognitive distortions are: a highly misleading way of thinking about yourself and the world. It’s a way of fooling yourself. And when you feel depressed and anxious, you will nearly always be fooling yourself. This means that your negative thoughts do not reflect reality. Depression and anxiety are the world’s oldest cons.” [2]

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/0sg6x7y

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TEAM = Testing + Empathy + Assessment (of resistance) + Methods

I thought of you when I read this quote from “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” by David D. Burns –

“The TEAM approach evolved from my clinical experience and research on how psychotherapy actually works. It preserves all the best elements of CBT described in my first book, but it works much faster. Here’s what the letters stand for:

T = Testing: My colleagues and I test our patients’ symptoms at the start and end of every therapy session to find out exactly how much they’ve improved or failed to improve.

E = Empathy: At the start of the session, we listen and try to form a warm, compassionate relationship with each patient without trying to rescue him or her.

A = Assessment of Resistance: We bring each patient’s resistance to change to conscious awareness and melt it away before trying to help the patient. When the resistance has vanished, the patient is usually super motivated. This allows us to work together as a fantastic TEAM.*

M = Methods: We show patients how to rapidly convert feelings of depression and anxiety into joy.”

Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/jkUrxv5

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Blogging 105. (2021)

Blogging Journal 2021

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The Holiness Project

What does Jesus want today?

January: Matthew gospel segments to Blog.

February: Mark gospel segments to Blog.

March: Luke gospel segments to Blog.

April: John gospel segments to Blog.

How do we do what Jesus wants?

Posted in Blog Work In Progress: 12 Authors, 12 Months | Leave a comment

Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Getting Started 
1.January: Boost Energy: Vitality
2.February: Remember Love: Marriage 
3.March: Aim Higher: Work 
4.April: Lighten Up: Parenthood 
5.May: Be Serious About Play: Leisure 
6.June: Make Time for Friends: Friendship 
7.July: Buy Some Happiness: Money 
8.August: Contemplate the Heavens: Eternity 
9.September: Pursue a Passion: Books 
10.October: Pay Attention: Mindfulness 
11.November: Keep a Contented Heart: Attitude 
12.December: Boot Camp Perfect: Happiness

Posted in Blog Work In Progress: 12 Authors, 12 Months | Leave a comment