I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun” by Gretchen Rubin –

“DON’T EXPECT PRAISE OR APPRECIATION. My examination of my nagging habit showed me that I also engaged in a more subtle form of nagging— nagging that concerned work that I did. I nagged Jamie to give me more praise. With something like the Valentine’s cards project, I realized that what I really wanted— even more than help—was for Jamie to say something such as “Wow, the photograph of the girls is terrific! You’re doing a great job with these Valentine’s cards !” I wanted that gold star stuck onto my homework. Why did I have such a need for gold stars? Was it vanity that needed to be stoked? Was it insecurity that needed to be soothed? Whatever the reason, I knew I should get over my need for Jamie to applaud the nice things I did, and, even more, I should get over my need for Jamie even to notice the nice things I did. So I made the resolution “Don’t expect praise or appreciation.””

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