END OF MONTH REVIEW 5/27/20

END OF MONTH REVIEW

Print A of CHAMPS = WRITING for monthly review.
Fleece decisions.

Use OPW to design church work.

Type up marital learnings.
What refusal to address problems means:
1. Same for small problems (meat argument) means same for major problems
2. Break your Attraction book … generate negative balls of feelings for a person, let them build … same process used to pick meaningless fights to justify leaving the relationship, and refuse to resolve them. If that was her plan, this is what she would do.
3. Destruction of my trust and Attraction as well.
4. Distancing, romantic and sexual, also process for cheating and break up, combined with refusal to address and resolve. Her refusal to address small problems will leave us unable to address large problems.
5. She asserts “when things get difficult” I just leave relationships … I just walk away. Response to asking to address the “meat argument” problem.
6. I am living daily in the patterns of a person willfully destroying a relationship, cheating and preparing to abandon me after taking my resources.
7. I have married my unfinished business.
8. Am I developing my dad’s neediness and desire for fusion?
9. No question about the codependency of my fix her problems so that she will love me is rejected.
10. I’m good for her and solved all her problems. Is she good for me?
11. I don’t know what to do.
12. Recognize that my CliftonStrengths lie in pattern recognition and applying learning to them.
13. Recognize that my primary Cognitive distortion is Fortune Telling and Mind Reading.
14. Recognize that I am a survivor seeking to have another fill roles that I need God to fill and/or fill myself.
15. Kim is far less prepared to address let alone solve any of my problems for me. She won’t even read a book. She would be a poor savior and is not much of a “universal cure everything” wife. She has no secret magic solutions that she is intentionally withholding. She has little to offer in the way of help.
17. Kim may be interested in meeting my infatuation needs (affirmation, fascination, crushing, voodoo) and in meeting my fusion needs. Our pathologies match up.
18. Kim is untrustworthy to fulfill what I am asking of her related to my covert man contracts … Glover, No More Mr Nice Guy.


1. Marital attunement.
2. Healthy response protocols for me to address anxiety, anger and amygdala hijack.
3. I need to understand the underlying psychological processes.

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