STEPS TOWARD FLOW1. Switch to short stories, short articles (blog posts)? 6.16-18.20

Listening prayers 6.16-18.20

Listening prayers 6.18.20
1. Switch to short stories, short articles (blog posts)? Task completion satisfaction, shorter window, not Sisyphus, not long enough to be boring? This is an example of clarifying goals.
2. Flow games have rules. A process, offensive plays overcome defensive obstacles (WOOP).

Listening prayers 6.17.20

– Enjoy living in denial; don’t miss the party.
– One day at a time; easy does it. Take joy.
– Don’t anticipate; solve only now problems.
– Make lemonade. Eat dessert.

WHAT is the pull vision?

CONVERSIONS … problem solutions.
– Audible Escape while waiting for sleep.
– Make a personal affirmation tape.
– Fast by eating only when Kim cooks.
– Diarrhea: less metformin, less coffee.
– Amygdala pleasures in response to hijack.
Make a decadent list.

Listening prayers 6.16.20

UDEs, “my” Norwood problems: focus here.
EVERY system is perfectly designed to get the results that are happening.

Diminishing numbers as people go heaven.
Not practicing right methods to grow.
Not working together … I take control.
Not interacting with Pastor … I isolate.
People not growing up spiritually … my job.
Homeostasis: not making disciples.
Homeostasis: not making disciples that make disciples
Homeostasis: not making disciples that make disciples that make disciples.
Just doing enough to get by; hireling.
Not having fun.

Bad eating choices, behavior.
Muscle mass declining, strength inadequate.
Inflexible … joints
Sedentary lifestyle.

CliftonStrengths fills me with ideas;
Problems with draining the flood.
Talents not put to work; buried, unutilized.
I see little reward for my labor; Sisyphus.
Writing seems pointless and without benefit
Writing not rewarded by wife/sex/pleasure
(Neglected in MRS/pleasure, can’t solve that problem with writing.)

Just doing enough to get by; hireling.
Not having fun. Not in flow. Drudgery.

No full answer to “Why do I do this?”

PTSD Lifestyle coping, avoidance/storms
PTSD Lifestyle – harmful to me?
Kim … Agoraphobia?
Death of sex. (My problem, my preferred form of denial/escape isn’t working.)
No protocols for boundary violations.
(PTSD Behaviors are boundary violations.)
I prevent consequences from happening.

Mistake: when times are good, I want to be honest about how I’m feeling negative and ask for what I need and want. Good feeling ends. Positive progress lost.

I’m blessed that I am not propping Kim up to take advantage of me, not rescuing her. I am however asking for my needs to be met and getting neglected or rejected, depending on how passive or aggressive I push her. I am doing a two step request which isn’t working for me at all, which is to first ask her to solve her problems so that I can then ask her to provide for my needs. This two-step is totally codependent.

It is difficult for me to play and live mindful.

Distracted: MRS Problems & Codependency.
Implementation of new methods halted

My systems above ARE at Flywheel … but set at productively pumping out negative results.
What adjustments would bring them up?

I need affirmation from somewhere in the system but I’m not getting it. My labor is NOT flow with an intrinsic motivation.

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