I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Self-Centered Marriage: The Revolutionary ScreamFree Approach to Rebuilding Your “We” by Reclaiming Your “I”” by Hal Edward Runkel, Jenny Runkel – “
If you want a warm, lasting marriage, you have to learn to keep your cool.
In The Self-Centered Marriage, “keeping your cool” does not refer to simple anger-management techniques or artificial rules of engagement (fighting fair). No, becoming ScreamFree in your marriage refers to something far more optimistic. Here, keeping your cool means discovering and holding on to your truest self, your “I”—and having the courage to openly pursue your truest desires—even in the midst of your greatest conflicts. It means willingly and calmly facing the natural fires of marital commitment, and actually growing up—and getting closer—through them.
Entering into such conflicts with integrity is not an easy task; it’s not supposed to be. Developing a marriage built on passion, commitment, and deep connection means committing yourself to a new way of relating. It means keeping your cool as you face conflicts with your spouse that may have previously set you off in some form of “screaming.” Being self-centered, being “ScreamFree” means holding on to your deepest desires for connection and boldly making yourself vulnerable … without knowing how your spouse will respond. It means viewing old marital patterns through new lenses, no longer seeing those patterns as indications of irreconcilable differences, but rather as opportunities to grow your personal integrity and transform your relationship. It’s not a journey for timid spirits, but the rewards are certainly worth the struggle.
” Start reading this book for free: https://a.co/5hAbGfn
QUOTE (emphasis mine):
NOTE (my commentary)
What gets my attention?
Do I understand the need or problem?
Do I understand the potential solution?
Do I understand how to apply that strategy?
What questions do I have for the experts? What might be the answers?
Who needs to hear this?
What do I do next?
SOURCE – Footnotes:
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