Emotional reactivity is our greatest enemy when it comes to creating great relationships.

I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Self-Centered Marriage: The Revolutionary ScreamFree Approach to Rebuilding Your “We” by Reclaiming Your “I”” by Hal Edward Runkel, Jenny Runkel – ““

I don’t know if I can handle this!” I confessed. “I don’t know if I can handle being together, all the time, forever! I feel like I’m about to lose my mind!” I was really losing it, right there on Oahu. “I mean, geez, I try to get away just now, and here you are, right behind me!” It was at that point I became aware that in my hasty exit, and all during my grand speech, I was still wearing the silly plastic lobster bib from the restaurant. It was actually perfectly appropriate that I was wearing a bib, because I was definitely acting like a baby. I was doing what so many of us do in our relationships: I was allowing myself to become immaturely, emotionally reactive. And emotional reactivity is our greatest enemy when it comes to creating great relationships. Let me say that again. Emotional reactivity is our greatest enemy when it comes to creating great relationships. See, emotional reactivity, what I call “screaming,” doesn’t just make things worse; it actually creates the very outcomes we were hoping to avoid.

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