I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Self-Centered Marriage: The Revolutionary ScreamFree Approach to Rebuilding Your “We” by Reclaiming Your “I”” by Hal Edward Runkel, Jenny Runkel – “
But applying this model of relating with others is definitely possible. And it all begins with one shift. As I said at the beginning, you have to learn to focus on yourself. Obviously, not in a “I only care about myself” kind of way. That type of self-absorbed approach is not at all what we’re talking about. Truth be told, being self-absorbed is not focusing on yourself, it’s getting others to focus on you. Whenever we need others to think, feel, or act a certain way to suit our own needs, we are focusing on others for our own benefit, and that’s the height of self-absorption. See, being self-absorbed is not being “self-centered,” it is actually being other-centered. It’s centering on others so that you can either get them to focus on you or get them into a mood—or get them to behave in a way—that makes you feel better.
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Plus 3 yellow quotes next page.