1. Surrender. Go for help.
2. Prioritize recovery: Make your own recovery the first priority in your life.
[Key Point: redirect my energy to meeting my needs. Keep my commitments to do that.]
3. Find a Support group of peers who understand.
4. Develop your spiritual side through daily practice.
STOP: SMaC HoG
5. Stop managing and controlling Kim and others = SMACK
6. Learn to not get “Hooked” into the Games. = HoG
Energy invested here does not profit and it is not appreciated. Can result in enemy action – Karpmann drama triangle.
The goal was to cause Kim to be happy. The goal is to now release her to freedom and her own consequences, detach from “fixing” and instead, manage and control Dave for Dave’s benefit.
I will always be kind, but not volunteer for work. I will always answer questions.
Slogan: Test for interest; walk through open doors, or detach. Enjoy Dessert.
7. Courageously face your own problems and shortcomings. = confront me, myself.
8. Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself. (Don’t rely on the other.)
9. Become “Selfish.”
10. Share with others what you have experienced and learned.
#7. Problems list in Google Keep.
#8. Ramp up … do more interesting things … to her, but especially to me.
#2. TV, avoidance, no sex. How is this me … waiting for what I want … waiting for her attention to _______.
#9. Can I calmly coexist w/denial? Just relax and enjoy the party of denial? (Enjoy Dessert)
What sort of attention do I want?
Sharing my learning to an interested person.
My work/writing read and discussed.
My (brainy) friend.
Support for mutual goals.
Mutually helpful to each other.
Affection, attention, love, romance, sex.
Safety … security … I am not harmed.
(This is a given.)
How can I create a support group for these needs?
Tags: a.Norwood, t.PTSD
January 04, 2021 at 10:54AM